It’s always difficult to get over a breakup regardless of the reasons that led to it. Wether you were cheated on, needed to get leave behind a toxic relationship, or simply fell out of love. However, the good thing is that everything is temporary, even the pain you are feeling right now. In fact, psychologists argue that the damage done by a breakup is often repairable, and with time you can surpass it. According to science, there have been certain ways to get over a break up, and that are more effective than others. Although some may seem ”impossible” at first, realizing that you need to move on with your life is key to do so.
Furthermore, it is absolutely vital to let the sadness out of your system. Experts recommend you not to try to suppress your feelings, and let them out instead. Anger, sadness, tears, disgust…whatever you are feeling. Consequently, going through your grieve fate is what’s going to let you see things more clearly, and will help you accept the situation, and implement these scientifically proven ways to get over your breakup.
End Contact With Your Ex
Yes, going cold turkey on your ex is incredibly helpful. According to biological anthropologist Helen Fisher, ending contact with the other person is the first step towards getting them out of your system. Do whatever you need! Block them on social media, delete the messages, and don’t take any of their calls (if they are still trying to get in touch with you.) I know that many women out there think it’s ”childish” or ”vulnerable” to do this, but it’s perfectly healthy.
Moreover, the hardest part of getting over somebody is not often forgetting them. In fact, it’s getting used to a life without them. You have to suddenly do the things you used to do together on your own, you don’t have their messages anymore, and you find yourself with so many memories of someone who has become a stranger now. Once the brain is used to their absence, you will find yourself hurting every day a bit less.
Give It Time
Everybody needs time, and every single person takes as much as they need. Don’t create a timeline for yourself, because that’s not how it works. While some people need days, others need weeks, months or even years to get over a breakup. Did any of your friends/family tell you that ”time heals all wounds” and you thought they were being insensitive? Well, they are not completely wrong. Although it’s perfectly understandable that what you need post-break up is support, listening to the harsh truth can actually be constructive criticism. In fact, scientists argue that ”The more time that elapses after a split, the more distance you’ll have from that event, and the less it will sting.”
Reflect On The Relationship You Had
You know how when bad things happen you ask ”what did I do to deserve this?” Only to realize few months later that you were actually lucky, because something better came out of that? Well, I assure you that this has happened to everyone at least once. Mainly, because we are blinded by our emotions in the moment, that we can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. Wether you choose to call it god, universe or divine natural force, somethings happen not to hurt you necessarily, but to help you on the long run. Actually, it goes about the same for breakups.
Once you accept how you feel, you look at it from another perspective. choose to reflect (and not dwell) on why exactly this happened. Sometimes, you may even have all those small things comeback to you. The little fights, the warning signs and whatever crap they put you through. You may even begin to wonder why your relationship didn’t end sooner.
Take Care Of Your Physical And Mental Health
Furthermore, some people react slightly better to break ups than others. Just like immunity systems, the vulnerability of mental health is different from a person to another. Therefore, if you feel like you need therapy, go for it. If you fall into depression and need medications, ask for help. While some can simply work it out with some meditation, do not feel ashamed if you need to rely on heavier methods. However, exercising is very effective to help you get through it. Not only that working out releases endorphins and oxytocin in your body (the happiness hormones) but because they also help get your mind out of it. In addition, you can do some reading or writing in order to let your feelings out. From my personal experience, writing all about my feelings and experiences was one of the most helpful ways to get through having my heart broken.
Reclaim Your Sense Of Self
Last but not least, reminding yourself of your worth is crucial in such situations. I mean, who doesn’t loose their self-esteem and confidence after a break up? However, don’t stay there too long, and always remember to reclaim your sense of self. In addition, wether they dumped you, or you chose to walk away, keep in mind that sometimes, good things have to fall apart, so better things can fall together. In a way, experts explain that your experiences make you stronger and wiser. Instead of feeling like you lost something/someone, think of it as you gained someone new. A brand new perspective, and a brand new version of your better self.
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